Hlášky z Doby ledové 2
Ellie: Myslela jsem, že tlustí chlapci jsou sympatičtí.
Manfred: Nejsem tlustý, to ten kožich je nadýchaný.
Ellie: OK. (k vačičákům) Je tlustý.
Manfred: Proč si jim řekl, ať jdou s námi?
Sid: Protože můžete být posledními mamuty na světě.
Diego: Asi má pravdu.
Manfred: Promiň, kdy jsem se přihlásil do té společenské agentury?
Sid: Manny, na pokraji vyhynutí není čas být tak škaredý. Hej, měla by jít s námi.
Manfred: Ty ses zbláznil? Ani náhodou.
Sid: (k Ellie) Manny se tě chtěl zeptat, jestli s námi nechcete utéct před povodní
(Manfred řekne Ellie, že je mamut.)
Ellie: Já? Nebuď směšný, já jsem vačice.
Manfred: Jasně, dobrá. Já jsem ještěrka, to je můj kámoš bobr a můj další kámoš dikobraz.
Sid: Proč já mám být dikobraz, ať je on dikobraz.
(Ukáže na Diega.)
Sid: Oholte mě a říkejte mi krtku! Našel jsi dalšího mamuta.
Manfred: Co když má pravdu? Co když jsem poslední mamut?
Sid: Manny, trochu optimismu do toho umírání, přece máš ještě nás.
Diego: To není moc přesvědčivý argument, Side.
(Sid zpívá.)
Sid: Jednoho dne, kdy už vymře. Kdy si zazpíváš...
Manfred: Buď zticha, Side.
Sid: Zastav se, hej, co to bylo za zvuk?
Manfred: Neprovokuj mě.
Sid: Jestli tvůj druh přežije, tleskni v dlaň! Jestli tvůj druh ...
Manfred: Side, znovu na tebe upadnu, ale tentokrát tě zabiju.
Sid: OK, vidím, že tady někdo nemá rád klasiku.
Sid: Hej Manny, právě jsem slyšel, že jsi na pokraji vyhubení.
Diego: Hej, pokud někdy zvládeš osobní hygienu, zapracuj i nad citem.
sup: Ale mám i dobré zprávy. Čím více vás zemře, tím více já budu mít jídla.
(Všechna zvířata se vyděsí.)
sup: Neřekl jsem přece, že to budou dobré zprávy pro vás.
Sid: Kdybych tě neznal, Diego, řekl bych, že se bojíš vody.
(Diego chytí Sida pod krkem.)
Sid: OK, OK, znám tě dost dobře.
(Manfred leží na Sidovi.)
Sid: Nemůžu dýchat. Asi mám zlomenou páteř.
Manfred: Side! Co to děláš za blbosti? Slez dolu!
Sid: Ani náhodou, budu první, kdo skočí z toho vodopádu. A potom vy budete muset ukázat trochu úcty.
Manfred: Když skočíš, tak jedinou úctu, kterou získáš, bude úcta k mrtvému.
Sid: Dobře skočím na tři! Jedna. Dva.
Manfred: Side, nehýbej se. Jdeme nahoru.
Sid: Dva a tři tisíciny. Dva a čtyři tisíciny.
Manfred: Neposlouchejte ho, pásovec Tony by prodal i svou vlastní matku za trs vína.
Sid: Podívejte, otevřel jsem tábor Campo de Sid. Myslel jsem tím Sidův tábor.
Diego: Gratuluji. Teď jsi idiot ve dvou jazycích.
Sid: Pssst! Ne před dětmi. Tahle mrňata mě zbožňují, že Billy?
Billy: Neprovokuj mě nebo tě sním.
Manfred: Klídek děcka, kdo vám řekl, že můžete týrat lenochoda?
Diego: Manny, nepřerušuj jejich tvůrčí činnost.
Manfred: Ještě pořád si myslíš, že ona je pro mě ta pravá?
Sid: Jasně! Jsou s ní tuny zábavy a s tebou vůbec. Doplňujete se.
(Manfred, Sid a Diego civí na Elie, když řekne, že mamuti vymřeli.)
Elie: Porč se na mně všichni tak díváte?
Manfred: Nevím, nevím. Možná proto, že jsi mamut?
Manfred: Vidíte tuto zemi, je pokryta ledem. Před tisíci lety byla pokryta ledem a za tisíc let bude stále pokryta ledem!
Sid: Neviděli jste náhodou desetitunovýho mamuta a devítitunovou vačici?
Ellie: Dnes večer žádný druh zachraňovat nebudeme.
(Táta hovnivál před sebou strká kuličku.)
táta hovnivál: Musíme to s sebou tahat?
máma hovniválová: Tu kuličku jsem dostala od maminky!
(Po tom, co Diega a Sida napadnou vačičáci.)
Diego: Kdyby něco, tak jich bylo padesát a byli to chřestýši!
Manfed: Uhm, tak... jsi moc atraktivní.
Ellie: Vážně?
Manfed: Jasně.
Ellie: Co je na mě tak atraktivního?
Manfed: Co? No nevím, třeba tvůj zadeček...
Ellie: Co je s ním?
Manfed: Je... velký.
Ellie: To jsi řekl jenom tak.
Manfed: Ne, ne, vlastně ano, řekl! Největší zadek, který jsem kdy viděl.
Ellie: Hmm... to bylo sladké.
Sid: Přežijeme to!
(Voda začne stoupat.)
Sid: (hystericky) Nebo zemřeme!
Ellie: (k Mannymu) Jsem mamutem sotva pět minut a ty mě už balíš?
Manfed: (k mravenečníkovi) Tvůj dech je cítit po mravencích.
Diego: Mě si nevšímejte, já si tu jen tak visím...
(Manny se dívá na svůj a Elliin stín, aby ji přesvědčil, že je mamutka.)
Manny: Ellie podívej, máme stejné stíny.
(Elie se podívá na stíny.)
Ellie: Hmm... tak to už jsi na půl vačice.
Komentáře
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